Wallpaper

This represents one afternoon's work. 

I hate wallpaper. Really hate it. Over the years, we stripped wallpaper off the ceiling and walls of four different rooms at our Helen street house. I remember vowing to never do it again. Now, at our new place, I'm at it again. We could just paint over it, as the previous owners had, but I'm kind of a perfectionist on certain things and really prefer to do things the right way, which means removing the wallpaper. I always start the same way, Brute force. I go after it with a putty knife, partially in anger, and partially because the soak and peel method makes such a mess. But after a couple hours I've blown off some steam and reality sets in. I set up my trusty water bottle and have a new go at it. The problems remains though because I have never taken off wallpaper that hasn't been painted over. So, rather than soaking into the wallpaper, the sprayed on water simply runs down the wall and soaks the paper I've taped down to protect the hardwood  After a full day of this, I headed off to Home Depot for help and advice. There HAS to be a better way.

My new scraper. Note the painted
but scored paper.

There isn't. At the Home Depot paint counter I got sympathetic looks from both the salesman and a customer that told me it took her WEEKS to strip the wallpaper off a half bath. The salesman, after suggesting I set fire to the place, did suggest I use pure vinegar in my spray bottle, and score the wallpaper to help the vinegar penetrate the paint. I found a heavy duty scraper in the tool section as well as a little device purposely designed to score the paper. I purchased the items and headed to Sharkey's to contemplate life and consider my next move.

My next move came on the very next day after encouragement from Cindy, I once again attacked the paper. I spent the next 6 hours in full attack mode scoring, spraying vinegar, and scraping like a maniac. I really think the vinegar is an evil joke played on people scraping wallpaper because the smell in that small foyer was overwhelming. Luckily I was able to open the door to the outside and shut the door to the living room to limit the smell to the rest of the house.

Making progress. Note the
wallpaper salad on the floor. 

At the end of the day (really, not that overused cliche), I had all walls scraped clean (except over the closet), and had piles of gooey vinegar smelling paper at my feet. Cindy actually told me I could clean up the next day but the thought of our house smelling like a huge salad bowl encouraged me to clean up the remnants.

Considering my experience with wallpaper over the years, I now think that wallpaper should be Federally regulated. Why not? The government has set the precedent in many other areas, protecting us from our selves, and I think wallpaper should be recognized for the hazard that it is. I'm not saying it should be illegal, just regulated. So here's my proposal: 1) All wallpaper must be registered. You're responsible for it and cannot leave it behind. 2) It is a violation of Federal Law to paint over wallpaper. Kind of like putting a silencer on a gun. People may not recognize the danger and we don't want you hiding your crime. 3) You must show valid identification upon the purchase of wallpaper. Don't worry, the feds aren't coming to confiscate your wallpaper, we just need to know where it is. (see rule #1) 4) Full disclosure on the location and amount of wallpaper in any house upon closing. Failure to do will result in a fine paid directly to the new owners.

I really hate wallpaper. Oh...and if you come and visit us, we're not making a huge salad. that's just our foyer.

Next blog: 31 bags of leaves on the curb...31 bags of leaves...